Gratitude & Kindness by Dr. Carla Fry

Author:Dr. Carla Fry [Fry, Dr. Carla]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781508473596
Amazon: 1508473595
Publisher: Real Parenting Lab
Published: 2015-04-17T05:00:00+00:00

Paying a child for good grades on their report card. Although we do not see this as a pure overpayment situation, we do have thoughts on this. If we teach our children that high grades are anything but for their own benefit (current and future), we are missing excellent learning opportunities. We also know that a child taught to focus on grades fails to appreciate the most important parts of the school experience are:

Ability to set and meet goals

Ability to study and learn

Ability to delay gratification and to work toward something in the future

Ability to motivate themselves when the going

gets tough

Ability to work well with people—both agreeable and disagreeable We see more children who are taught to overly focus on

A’s cheat on exams, plagiarize during their writing, purchase the previous year’s exams (college level), copy homework from peers, or sweet talk parents into doing 90 per cent of their science project for them. Yes, the chances of achieving an A are increased, but at what cost to personal integrity and work ethic?

We see, as with the difference between Process vs. Person praise later on in this chapter, that when we focus recognition (“I’m proud of what you did this semester”) on the letter grade instead of the effort, work ethic, social adeptness in working with teachers/ peers, etc., a child’s

self-esteem is not well supported, and they are easily shattered if, for whatever reason, they don’t attain A’s.

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